Bang
by MyOwnAntagonist
Summary: Oneshot. There's not much really to say about this, I suppose...guns are tampered with, music is played, and dancing is attempted. RR, please, and enjoy! Rating for use of minor foul language.


Disclaimer: Perfect Dark and the like is owned by Rare and Nintendo. Either way, I don't own a damn thing. Yahoo! Launchcast player is owned by Yahoo!. I don't own THAT, either. Damn. Reviews are welcome, and so are flames so long as said flames are constructive criticism. Enjoy!

oOoOoOo

"Man, you need a _radio_ in here." Foster, the Weapon's Tech, rolled his eyes at his best friend and partner in crime.

"Johnny, if you say that one more time, I'll hurt you." Jonathan rolled his eyes back.

"No you wouldn't."

"And why not?"

"You love him too much, Foster." Both men looked up, only to have one of them look back down with an uninterested _'Oh, it's only you'_. The figure in the door pointed vaguely to Jonathan's form, now engrossed in a game of Tetris on his cell phone.

"What's with him?"

"He's bored." Foster's eyes lit up with hope. "Joanna, you love me, don't you? I mean, platonically, of course." The British redhead eyed the men cautiously.

"I love you to death, Foster, but even that's not enough to be willing to entertain Jonathan for you. Sorry, mate, but you're S.O.L." She sighed. "Anyways, this isn't a social call, as much as I hate to admit it. I've come to warn you to hide. Hide good and well, or else your ass is grass." Jonathan's head popped up at the mention of possible violence.

"Huh?"

"What do you mean, hide? Who do I have to hide from?" Foster asked, ignoring Jonathan and earning a glare from the man.

"My sister. She swears up and down that you replaced the pellets in her pellet gun with the ones that open up with a flag."

"Ones that open with a flag…I've got no clue what you're talking about." Jo smirked, reaching down to her thigh-holster.

"Allow me to demonstrate." With a single swift movement she had pulled a small pistol from its holster and fired it directly at Jonathan. He looked down, blinking in astonishment at his chest. The pellet had stuck to his shirt, opened up, and was displaying a collapsible flag.

"Bang," he read off, barely containing a fit of laughter at the bold red-and-yellow letters on the projectile.

"Apparently, Velvet was out 'shooting' with some of the other agents. She had a perfect shot lined up and when she pulled the trigger, she was dismayed to find that, instead of pellets, she had shot a flag reading 'Bang'." Joanna herself was having trouble keeping a straight face, and only managed to do so by pinning Foster with 'The Look'. "You've got to admit, Foster, that the situation does look bad for you. She claims she left her gun alone in your presence for less than five minutes. On top of the fact that you are the only one who could have done this, you have all the know-how and skill required to do so quickly."

Foster was flabbergasted.

"But- Jo, you've gotta believe me, I didn't-"

"I suggest you hide, Foster. Good and well." The man didn't need a second bidding. Velvet Dark's temper was well known throughout the Carrington Institute and just as well avoided. He stood from his chair and shot out of the door. Silence reigned for several seconds, until,

"That's _bad_, Jonathan. I thought the pair of you were as thick as thieves." The boyish-acting man grinned.

"Exactamundo, Jo. Do thieves have honor?" She rolled her eyes.

"Obviously not. So, when'd you do it?"

"She needs to keep her stuff more well-guarded, especially in a place like this. It's my job to break into stuff, you know."

"Before Foster even got it, then."

"Yes. Before Foster even got it." Jo looked around idly, frowning.

"There's something missing in here."

"Like what?" Instead of answering him, she simply plopped down in Foster's chair and brought up Internet Explorer, typing a URLinto the address box. A short minute later, the Weapons Lab was filled with music from Jo's personal radio station from Yahoo! Launchcast. Jonathan looked incredulously at her.

"You listen to this? This is like…old, Jo. Way before your time." The music in question was 'Bad Moon Rising' by CCR. She shrugged.

"Would you prefer modern-day rap? I'm sure I could find some on here; unlimited skipping, you know." When she didn't get an answer, she skipped the song anyways. To her amazement, Jonathan jumped up a few seconds after the new song started.

"Now this is good music. C'mon, Jo, dance with me!" The girl was flabbergasted, and backed away when Jonathan went to grab her hands.

"I don't dance, Jonathan!" He raised an eyebrow at her declaration and ceased his dancing; instead, he adopted a hands-on-hips position much like the one Jo was standing in.

"I don't dance, Jonathan!" The man mimicked, earning him a sharp glare from the mimicked which was promptly ignored. "C'mon, Jo, don't give me that crap," he said in his own voice. "You're twenty-three. You're female. _You dance_."

"Alright, fine!" She said exasperatedly, "I dance! Just not anywhere outside of my home or a club and especially not at work!" Jonathan grinned broadly and darted behind his friend, cutting off her only route of escape.

"Well, Jo, now you do!" Joanna's hand was promptly grabbed and her person spun, ending up facing Jonathan.

"You're in for it now, do you realize that?" She growled out, only causing Jonathan to give an even bigger grin.

"I know what your problem is. You've got no rhythm!" He pulled her closer and dropped his hands to her hips, making them move in time with the music. "See, it's all in the hips- like that- can you do a figure eight? No, never mind- see, that's a figure eight-" As Jonathan spoke, he moved his hands (and therefore Jo's hips) to show what he was talking about…and Joanna was steadily losing her patience.

"Jonathan, if you don't remove your hands from my person right this instant, you'll be sorry." Her "partner" ceased his movement but didn't remove his hands.

"I'll be sorry, hmm? What, exactly, are you gonna do to me?" The woman could see the mischievous glint in his eyes- _the bastard thinks I'm going to kiss him_, she thought to herself. Unfortunately for him, though, that wasn't the case...

"It's not what I'll do to you, Jonathan," she said smugly and with a wide smirk on her face. The next thing Jonathan knew, there was a minor pain in the middle of his back, and then a slight weight.

"What the…" He let go of Joanna to reach around on his back, finally pulling off an open pellet- complete with flag. Jo nearly laughed outright at his new expression- his eyes were wide with fear, his jaw was slack, his face was pale and he was looking at Joanna with something akin to, 'How could you?' written all over his face.

"_Oh, Johnny Boy!_" A voice called singsong from behind the pair, and John turned around to face the newcomer.

"Um…Hi, Vel!" He said in a slightly strangled voice, and Jo grinned at her sister from behind his back.

"Jonathan, I discovered something very interesting about my pellet gun just a few minutes ago…" She glanced at the gun in question that was in her hands, and then back at Jonathan. "According to Foster and a few other key witnesses, you're the one who tampered with my baby."

"Um…no I didn't?"

"Wrong answer, Johnny Boy." Before the blonde menace everyone referred to as 'Velvet' could make another move, Jonathan had shot off behind her and out the door of the Weapon's Lab. The youngest woman winked at her sister. "Payback's a bitch, isn't it Jo?" Joanna chuckled, leaning against Foster's desk.

"Indeed it is. Do get him good for me, won't you?"

"Of course!" With that, Vel sped off in hot pursuit of Jonathan and could be heard yelling, "GET BACK HERE AND FACE YOUR PUNISHMENT, INFIDEL!" Jo bent down to pick up the flag that Jonathan had dropped, and began giggling as she read it off to herself.

"Bang, indeed."


End file.
